So within As without

Im a cinderbiter chocking on ashes. The whole summer has been one of pheonix flashes, spirit resurrecting after crawling and slithering through gunky fecundity. It has been the slow steady march of heartbeat and breath that move me forward as there have been no signposts, portents, illuminating resolutions, just the gnarled web of sweaty restless dreams and underground ministrations. Ever connected but ever distanced from the earth I felt so acutely human as I huddled by the hearth and watched her burn, the ashes stuffed into my hollow words and endless need. When will we stop devouring? As part of this tribe the shame and disgust of the jagged rush into consumption in the name of progress had me down on my knees and all around the devouring continued until we swallowed the sun. Distractions were stripped away as the eclipse mirrored our souls. There was only endless reflection. I became still with the darkness of the sky, still while witnessing the blood red moon and absence of clear shadows, still as the light became opaque, distant, untouchable and the forest's burned around me, the earth swallowed in gulps, the tempest whistling. I became still so I could look into the forest, feel my allies and friends, catch songs from the ancient one's. I felt the distinct lack of fear, I felt the shift of Gaia's shoulders shaking. The hum of never care, the present of being all and everything. I tasted the green luminescence, the flow of source thrumming, belonging through the earth and all of us. Whether it be black oil veining the creaking beating of the earth or invisible particles floating of into the atmosphere the tress knew me no mind. The forest knew endlessness. Look to your own kind were the words that carried up from my heart. Manage yourself now.
I drew these two journals to honor the forest and its knowing. To remember that it is part of my greater whole.